From the bizarre to the belligerent to the genuinely dangerous, Southold Town police had plenty to contend with last week. An unexpected home delivery in Cutchogue of a box marked “cremated remains,” a flag flapping so loud it warranted a 1:30 a.m. call to police, a bird bath smash-and-grab in Mattituck and a King Kullen parking-lot confrontation in which a well-deployed middle finger sent a foul-mouthed creep packing were among the more colorful calls Southold cops handled last week.

Officers also stepped into a long-running feud involving a former firefighter and his old department, while dealing with several alleged DWIs, multiple hit-and-runs on parked vehicles and another round of Flock camera vandalism. Police also responded in person, per department policy, to at least nine accidentally dialed 911 calls. During busy summer months, that number can spike into the dozens.

Aug. 24 – Around 1 a.m., police were called to the scene a car crash into a tree on Shore Drive in Greenport West. There they found Joshua Patsos, 33, of Greenport West, and another man standing beside the crashed vehicle. Patsos, according to a police report, told responding officers he was on his way home from the Whiskey Wind and “did admit to consuming an alcoholic beverage.” He performed poorly on field sobriety tests, according to police, and was “unsteady on his feet.” He was arrested for alleged driving while intoxicated.

Around 10:30 a.m., a Southold Police marine unit was called to the beach off South Harbor Rd. in Southold, for a report of buoy washing ashore. Police identified the buoy as belonging to a local oyster company, and contacted the owner, who said he would come and retrieve the buoy.

Also around 10:30 a.m., police received a report of a car that was reportedly parked legally on Main Road in Mattituck, that had been sideswiped by an unknown vehicle sometime in the previous hour. The car was unoccupied at the time but sustained damage to the driver’s side mirror, according to a report.

Flock hunting season continues

Aug. 25 – Two more Flock cameras in Southold have apparently been vandalized. According to a police report, around 9:30 a.m., two cameras on either side of Sound Ave. near the corner of Aldrich Lane were discovered to have had their wires cut and their camera lenses cracked. The damaged cameras were photographed by detectives, according to a report, which noted that the last “hit” that one of the cameras issued was the day before. Around 1:30 p.m., a third Flock camera, this one near the corner of Carroll Ave. and Middle Rd. in Southold, also had its wires cut and its camera lens cracked. Three days later, on Aug. 28, police discovered a Flock camera near the corner of Main St. and Knapp Place in Greenport West had been “pushed to face away from the roadway.”

Ruff day at the beach

Around 11:25 a.m., police were called to Veterans Beach in Mattituck, where a 64-year-old Mattituck woman reported that – despite a sign at the beach saying no dogs were allowed – “a dog was off leash and jumped on her grandkids.” The woman wanted the dog’s owner removed from the beach. Police interviewed the dog’s owner, who told them the dog was her service animal, and provided paperwork to prove it. She apologized, and told police that the dog was briefly off the leash to jump in the water, and that she would keep the dog on a leash at all times going forward. She denied that the dog had jumped on the grandchildren, and lifeguards at the beach said they did not witness the dog jumping on any children, according to a report. “Both parties were advised to stay away from each other,” according to a police report.

Around 1 p.m., a Greenport restaurant owner contacted police to report that four checks worth a total of more than $2,300 that were written out to vendors and mailed from a post office in Babylon had not reached their intended recipients. Instead, the owner told police, the four checks were each cashed twice – once via mobile and once via a physical deposit to the bank. The restaurant’s accountant provided copies of the checks to police, and said she suspected someone was stealing the checks from the mail. Detectives were notified.

Around 5:30 p.m. police receive a report from a motorist that a vehicle traveling on Middle Road in Peconic was “unable to maintain its lane of travel and driving well under the posted speed limit.” Police responded and initiated a traffic stop. Robert Castro, 58, of Mastic, “consented to standardized field sobriety tests” and was “found to be impaired,” according to a police report. He was arrested for alleged driving while intoxicated.  

Birdbath smash-and-grab

Aug. 26 – Around noon, police were called to a residence on New Suffolk Ave. in Mattituck, where a resident told responding officers that overnight, someone had “use[d] his stone bird bath to knock down a nearby 30 mph street sign.” According to a police report, the sign itself was stolen as well. Police contacted the town’s highway department to request a replacement.

Around 1:30 p.m., police responded to Mattituck Fire Dept. headquarters on Pike St. “in reference to an ongoing issue with a former member of the MFD.” According to a report, a district manager at the firehouse showed police “emails sent from [the 62-year-old former member] regarding ongoing litigation after he was banned from Mattituck Fire Dept.” The manager stated that the “issue has been ongoing for the past six years and that [the former member] has hatred towards multiple members” of the department. Police located the former member and notified him that he has been trespassed from the fire department property, meaning that he could be arrested if he returns.

Fire lane enforcement, Cutchogue-style

Around 3:30 p.m., police were called to the King Kullen parking lot in Cutchogue for a harassment complaint involving “an unknown male” who was “parked in the fire lane.” A 69-year-old Cutchogue woman told police she approached the vehicle, told the man he couldn’t park there, after which “he called her a ‘fat b—h’ and rolled up his window,” according to a report. The woman “then gave this unknown male the finger, at which point he proceeded to put his car into drive and drive away.” The woman requested that the incident be documented.

Rest in fizz

Shortly before 11 p.m., a resident on Leslie Road in Cutchogue call the cops about the delivery of a strange package, which was labeled “cremated remains” and delivered to the house. The 37-year-old Cutchogue woman told police she “was not expecting a package from anyone with cremated remains and did not feel comfortable opening” it. A responding officer opened the package and found three six-packs of seltzer. The woman called her husband, who confirmed he had ordered the seltzer online. “The USPS carrier happened to place it in a cremated remains box,” a report concluded. “No further issue at this time.”

Also around 11 p.m., police were called to First St. in Greenport for a report of a motor vehicle leaving the scene of an accident. The owner, a 27-year-old Mattituck man, reported rear passenger side damage to his vehicle. A 22-year-old Shelter Island Heights man who was nearby told police he didn’t see the crash but “heard the collision and upon turning around “observed a red Honda Civic with front end damage fleeing” northbound on Main St.

Aug. 27 – Around 4:30 p.m. Southold police and Mattituck firefighters responded to a location on Deep Hole Drive and observed “a large stack of firewood on fire.” Firefighters extinguished the blaze and a fire marshal concluded that “a plumber soldering outside the residence” inadvertently sparked the blaze.

Aug. 28 – Around 12:30 a.m. police responded to a location on Second St. in New Suffolk for a report of a “verbal argument. Upon arrival it was determined no argument had taken place. [The homeowner] and guests were enjoying an evening outside.”  

Around 6 a.m. police were called to a location near the corner of South Harbor Road and Main Road in Southold for a report of a “male subject jogging in the middle of the roadway.” Police responded and dutifully canvassed the area but found no such male subject.

Service with a smack

Around 9 a.m. police were called to a residence on Main Road in Cutchogue after a woman reported a “possible physical altercation between herself and a process server.” The resident told police that an “unknown woman” came to her residence at 8:30 p.m. and served her with court papers regarding her ex-husband. “During the serving process [the resident] states she attempted to return the court paperwork to the unknown female by smacking the papers on the female’s shoulder and then grabbed at her shirt.” The unknown female “then began to flail her arms backwards, striking [the resident] in both arms.” Police contacted the ex-husband, learned that the so-called process server was the man’s daughter-in-law, and it was ultimately determined that the daughter-in-law had been “acting in self-defense,” according to a report.

Around 1 p.m., an officer on bike patrol in Greenport noticed two people, both well-known to police, “lying down next the carousel” in Mitchell Park. The pair, a 48-year-old Greenport woman and a 58-year-old Greenport man, “were woken up and were advised they had to leave the [area] due to the large amount of people and children walking past them to get to the carousel.”

Aug. 29 – Around 1:30 a.m., police were called to a home on Sound Dr. in Greenport West, where a resident reported that her neighbor’s “flag is flapping very loudly and making it hard for her and her parents to sleep.” The woman told police she didn’t want to make the request herself due to “prior neighbor disputes.” A responding officer advised the woman that a request could be made for the neighbor to take down his flag at night, but that he couldn’t be forced to. The officer made the request and the flapping flag owner “understood but did not elaborate on if he would take the flag down or not.”  

Around 6:15 a.m., a 31-year-old Greenport woman contacted police to relay her suspicion that “explicit photographs” of her were posted on a Snapchat story. She told police a 27-year-old Greenport West man told her that two weeks earlier, he had seen the alleged photos. When police interviewed him, he denied possessing or having saved any of the photos and couldn’t identify the Snapchat account or the person responsible for the post. The woman told police she didn’t know how such images could have been obtained, but that “it could have been her ex-partner … but was uncertain.” Police advised the woman to contact Southold police if she gathers any evidence of the existence of the photos.

Around 8 a.m., police were called to a location on Peconic Lane for an anonymous report that “there were tennis lessons being given at the [location] when it is clearly posted there are no tennis lessons allowed.” Police responded, investigated, spoke with tennis players involved and determined there to be “negative lessons being conducted.”

Pump fiction

Around 11 a.m., a 62-year-old Glen Head man contacted police to report a suspected scam at a local gas station, saying a screw had been placed in the fuel holder at a gas pump, and he believed the screw had been placed there “to keep the previous fuel transaction active/open, potentially allowing a subsequent customer to be charged under the previous customer’s transaction.” Police then interviewed the gas station manager, who told them he had placed the screw in the fuel holder because the “magnetic strip/sensor associated with the fuel holder was defective and was not properly resetting after a customer completed a transaction,” which caused the fuel pump to shut off after every transaction. He said he tried to explain this to the Glen Head man, but the Glen Head man nevertheless started “approaching customers who were arriving to purchase fuel and advising them not to fuel their vehicles at this location.” The manager stated that he did not wish for the Glen Head man to return, the report said, and the Glen Head man likewise told police he had no intention of ever coming back.

Shortly before noon, police received a report about two “possible youths … riding E-bikes” in the Adams St. parking lots in Greenport. The caller reported that she “observed one youth punch the other youth in the face.” Police canvassed the area but found no one matching the descriptions.

Around 12:30 p.m., a Greenport man told police that two local men, well-known to police, were “placing garbage in front of his property” on South St. Responding officers observed the local men, one 24 and one 61, “removing garbage from the front yard and placing it in the roadway.” Police advised the 24-year-old that the garbage would “need to be placed in Southold Town yellow garbage bags for pickup.” Meanwhile, a neighbor told police he had asked the 24-year-old to “clean up the large amount of garbage accumulated in the yard and was willing to pay for its removal,” according to a report. Police observed “numerous items appearing to be used hypodermic syringes within the garbage.” The two local men were provided with yellow trash bags and a “sharps container” and began removing the garbage from the roadway and collecting it in the right receptacles “pending proper disposal.”  

‘Intoxicated’ disability detectives

Around 5:30 p.m., police received a report from a 50-year-old Nesconset man, who said that as he was “pulling into a handicapped parking spot” on Main St. in Greenport, “he began to get harassed by a group of ‘intoxicated’ individuals,” including at least three men and two women, who “began cursing at him, as they did not believe he should be parking in said spot, as the party did not believe [him] to be handicapped.” The driver had a valid handicapped parking permit, according to a report. The possibly intoxicated group disbursed, but police caught up with one suspect in a “blue polo shirt, blue shorts and sunglasses” who refused to give his name and became “highly uncooperative.”

Around 7 p.m., police received a report of an individual “driving erratically in residential neighborhoods” near Main Road in Mattituck. Sebastein Castro-Hernandez, 24, of Mattituck was located and given standardized field sobriety tests, which – according to a police report – he “performed poorly on.” He was arrested for alleged driving while intoxicated.

Aug. 30 – Around 12:30 a.m., police were called to Main St. in Greenport, by a Riverhead cab driver who said his fare refused to leave the vehicle. Responding officers found a “highly intoxicated” 23-year-old from Jupiter, Florida, who “stated that he wanted to go home but could not provide the address of where he was staying.” Police asked the man to exit the vehicle, which he did, according to a report.

All individuals named in police reports are presumed innocent unless proven guilty in a court of law. Charges may be reduced, dismissed or result in an acquittal.