Southold Republicans are criticizing the town’s Democratic Committee for what they describe as a taunting social media post aimed at an openly gay Republican town board candidate who did not attend Sunday’s North Fork Pride parade in Greenport.

The controversy erupted around 2 p.m. Sunday, when the Southold Democratic Committee’s Instagram account commented on a June 14 Southold GOP post showing Republican town board candidate Nick Planamento and trustee candidate Pindar Damianos campaigning door to door. The comment — “What? No Pride?” — was accompanied by a rainbow flag emoji and a pink and blue transgender pride flag emoji.

Republicans said they were puzzled by the comment, as the image had been posted a week before the parade. The North Fork Sun subsequently confirmed that a Democratic committee member had mistakenly believed the photo was taken the day of the event.

Planamento, responding to the Democrats’ comment from his campaign account, called it “disappointing,” saying it reflected a focus on “cheap shots and identity-based innuendo instead of real issues.”

In the reply, he described himself as “a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community who has spent years advocating for inclusion, dignity, and respect,” adding: “Participation in a Pride parade is a meaningful choice — but so is spending time engaging with voters … LGBTQ+ rights should never be weaponized for partisan attacks.”

Southold Republican Committee Chair Peter Ganley called the remark “wildly inappropriate” and said local Democrats owe Planamento an apology.

“Anyone who knows Nick Planamento knows he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body,” Ganley said. “He doesn’t have that kind of hate. And it’s shocking that of all the people in the world, they’re going to launch an attack on Nick for somehow not being gay correctly? That’s insane to me.”

Ganley went on to say that “the insinuation is that because he’s gay, he should have been there and doing that thing on that day versus advocating for his own campaign … that on that day it was his job to do this thing because he’s gay? That’s wildly inappropriate.”

Referring to this fall’s elections, Ganley said that “we are not making this campaign about identity, nor is Nick. Nick is a proud gay man, and we’re proud to have him on the ticket, but this campaign is never going to be about identity.”

He said the Southold Democratic Committee — and its chair, Kathryn Casey Quigley — should apologize.

“If the Southold GOP account posted something hateful like that under someone’s picture, they would ask me for an apology. I would ask her too,” Ganley said.

Casey Quigley — who served as grand marshal for the parade alongside her sister, Liz Casey, and is pictured above with fellow Democrats — referred comment to Sandra Benedetto, the committee’s former chair and current head of communications.

In an interview Wednesday, Benedetto confirmed she had written the comment and admitted she had wrongly assumed the photo was taken during the parade.

“Personally, I did, because that’s when it popped up,” she said. “But the question still remains — on a day where pride is being celebrated on the North Fork, why was, not only Nick, but the GOP absent as well … where is the GOP in support of this community?”

Benedetto added of Planamento, “I appreciate his remarks,” but maintained that “this is a legitimate question for a legitimate candidate who is a member of the LGBTQ+ community, who was absent on a day where his community is celebrating — and also standing for their rights and the threats to their rights.”

In a response posted Wednesday to a GOP Instagram post about the incident, Benedetto told Planamento that “it is our responsibility to show up.

“You could have set an example for your party (who has been publicly absent from Pride for the last 3 years). You could have publicly taken a stand in unity. ”

After this story was published, some in the town GOP noted that Republican town tax assessor candidate Ken Poliwoda attended the parade.

Planamento, in an interview, expressed a mix of frustration and resignation, and said he had attended the two previous North Fork Pride parades. He initially considered ignoring the post, he said, but decided to speak out after sleeping on it.

“There are so many facets of this conversation that are just wrong, especially coming from a group that espouses what they espouse: a good community that works with everyone. Obviously, I’m not gay enough for them.”

Planamento said the jab was especially surprising because “these are people that I know, who know who I am — which is even more peculiar.”

Southold Town Supervisor Al Krupski, a Democrat, did not immediately respond to a request for comment, nor did Democratic board members Brian Mealy or Anne Smith. Republican town board member Louise Evans could not immediately be reached for comment. Republican town board member Jill Doherty said she “wholeheartedly agrees” with Planamento’s response.

“It’s like they have this double standard,” she said of local Democrats. “Just because someone’s openly gay and doesn’t show up to the parade, why do you assume he doesn’t support the community?”

Doherty said she has missed the parade in past years due to an annual out-of-town visit with friends each June. She said that she views the parade as a political event “only in the sense of what they had to fight and go through to get where they are today.

“They’re just normal people like the rest of us, no matter what their sexual orientation is,” she said. “Like the St. Paddy’s Day parade or the Columbus Day parade. I don’t go to every parade, but I do support that inclusivity.”

Democratic town board member Greg Doroski, who is running for Suffolk County Legislature this fall, struck a measured tone in a written response.

“I was grateful to march in the North Fork Pride Parade this weekend and celebrate love, freedom and equal rights for all — including the right to attend or not attend a parade,” he wrote. “Where and how a political candidate campaigns for public office is a useful data point for the public to form a more accurate picture of them and their priorities over time.”

Ganley reiterated the GOP’s commitment to civility in the 2025 campaign.

“We remain committed to running an entirely positive campaign,” he said. “It’s a shame to see the Southold Town Democratic Committee jump in the mud as early as June.”

The controversy continued as Southold Democrats took to social media to reiterate their support for Benedetto’s initial comments.