Northforkers rally around a local woman in need

On a freezing day in Greenport a few weeks ago, Joy Bianco stood outside the 7-Eleven waiting for a bus to Riverhead, where she would connect to a second bus bound for Shirley.

Beside her was a metal utility cart stacked with her belongings. Perched on top was Baebei (pronounced “baby”), her small Aussiedoodle and emotional support animal. Bianco was exhausted, working her way through another day of poverty, worry and caregiving responsibilities.

A car drove past her once. Then again.

Bob McInnis of Greenport pulled over.

“I drove by three times,” McInnis said. “I kept thinking ‘Should I stop? Shouldn’t I?’”

He did.

“I stopped and asked, ‘Are you okay?’” McInnis said. “She said, ‘Yeah, just waiting for the bus with my dog.’”

McInnis handed her $100. Bianco tried to refuse.

“I was embarrassed,” she said. “I told him I didn’t need it.”

McInnis gave her his card.

“If you ever need anything,” he told her, “reach out.”

Weeks later, with eviction looming and nowhere else to turn, Bianco made the call.

“That was a really hard call to make,” said McInnis.

‘Lost all faith’

McInnis, a marketing executive, sprang into action. He began calling people he knew and set up a GoFundMe campaign. He told Joy’s story on his website, McInnis Digital, and contacted North Fork Patch managing editor Lisa Finn, who published a story about Bianco on New Year’s Eve. The piece had an immediate impact and donations began to pour in.

“[Joy] texted me and said, ‘This is the first time I’ve slept in weeks,’” McInnis said.

For Bianco, the moment still feels unreal.

“I lost all faith. I was sitting home sobbing,” she said. “Then this happened.”

Bianco, 47, (pictured above, right, with her mother at Vineyard View apartments in Greenport) has lived through more than most people encounter in a lifetime. She was born to an abusive father and a 15-year-old mother, she said, and later endured sexual abuse from men who lived with her mother in their home. Bianco said the sex abuse continued at a foster home where she was placed.

As a young adult, Bianco said she fell in with people connected to gangs. One night, another gang entered her home and violently assaulted someone. She served four years in prison, she said, “for something I didn’t physically do, but I feel guilty enough for just being where I was and being with the people I was with.”

After her release, Bianco worked wherever she could — catering, retail, counseling, maintenance, security and road construction.

‘Resilient’

Motherhood became a transformative force in her life.

Bianco’s son, Julius, was born 18 years ago with dilated cardiomyopathy, a rare, serious heart condition, and doctors warned her to prepare for the worst.

“I didn’t even get to hold him,” she said. “They showed me him, and when they were taking him to be cleaned, he turned blue.”

Julius was transferred through multiple hospitals and ultimately placed on ECMO life support at a Manhattan hospital. At three weeks old, he suffered a stroke that temporarily paralyzed the right side of his body, his mother said.

Bianco said she returned to school to study psychology and social work, and, eventually, pre-med at Stony Brook.

“I wanted to know everything about my son and what could go wrong,” Bianco said.

She said she learned to operate feeding pumps, place feeding tubes, check IV lines and read EKGs and echocardiograms. Against expectations, Julius survived. He regained full use of his body and today lives with advanced heart failure. He attends community college and works long hours.

“He’s very resilient,” Bianco said. “He works a lot. He tries to do all the doubles he can do.”

In her early 30s, Bianco said, she was struck from behind by a truck.

“I ended up on a lot of pain meds for a while,” and eventually turned to street drugs. Bianco moved to Brooklyn, entered a recovery program and rebuilt her life. She said she has been on suboxone, which treats opioid addiction, for nine years.

Losses continued to follow. Five years ago, Bianco said, Julius’s father died from a cardiac embolism. About three years ago, her brother died, leaving behind a young daughter — Bianco’s niece — who attended elementary school in Greenport but was recently diagnosed with autism and transferred to a specialized school in Wading River. The child lives with her grandmother in Greenport.

‘Everything you can imagine’

When her mother’s health declined, Bianco became her primary caregiver and now earns about $155 a week through a caregiving program. She commutes two to three hours each way by bus between Greenport and Shirley.

“I spend Monday or Tuesday through Friday at my mom’s house,” she said.

Since McInnis began spreading the word, support for Bianco has continued to grow.

Front Street Station owner Sharon Sailor asked McInnis to request that Bianco compile a list of items she and her family needed most, and posted the list on social media, seeking support. (McInnis posted an updated list on his website late Sunday).

“So far we’ve gotten the walker, the shower chair, foods, pajamas,” Sailor said on Sunday night. “There’ll be stuff coming for the dogs tomorrow. Bob came by and picked up the shower chair, and he put the walker with the chair together.”

She said others donated personal hygiene supplies, gift certificates and household essentials. Sailor used local donations to shop for Bianco over the weekend.

“We put some brand-new slippers in there, some makeup, some face wash and a brand new white bathrobe,” she added. “I was just thinking of stuff you wouldn’t buy if you didn’t have any money, but that would definitely be a relief. Like a new leash for the dog. You might not buy that first, but I bet it’ll be a pick-me-up for her.”

Sailor is also seeking anyone willing to donate a used car.

“If they have a used car that they’re thinking of getting rid of that’s in pretty good condition, maybe they could donate it to the Paul Drum Life Experience, which is a non-profit — so they can donate it to that, and then we can give it to her,” she said. “And whoever gives it could get a tax deduction.”

The GoFundMe campaign for Bianco had raised nearly $12,000 as of Monday morning.

“I still can’t believe this is happening,” Bianco said on Sunday night, “and I’m so grateful to all the good people who stepped up to help me … My love and heart goes out to all.”

On his website, McInnis said he set up the fundraising campaign “not as a long-term solution, but as a short-term lifeline to help Joy avoid eviction and keep her family together while she works through housing, disability, and caregiving support.

“This page isn’t here to tug at heartstrings,” McInnis wrote. “It’s here to be clear about what’s happening, to thank the people who have stepped up, and to keep things transparent as Joy works through the next steps.”

After Finn’s story was published, the first person McInnis heard from was Kelly Fox Hunstein, founder and former owner of Country Corner Cafe.

“I just wanted to reach out to say thank you,” she texted him. “Thank you for showing kindness in this world … I don’t know her, but I’m grateful to hear that someone reached out and ‘saw her.’

“We all deserve to be seen.”